11/16/13

Darling,

Time has just flown, hasn’t it? It has rushed past since my last note, since the last time I saw you, and since I saw your handsome face waiting to greet me that fateful January afternoon.
We reveled in the fact that it will soon be two years we have been madly in love with each other, despite only having been in physical contact seven times. I am convinced, though, that I have loved you for a thousand years. Our love feels old. Not in a bad way, but in the way an old book makes you feel or how when you look at a baby, you can tell their past life was just…wonderful. Maybe I just sound crazy, but I just simply cannot remember my life without you. I don’t think I want to. It feels like you’ve been a part of me forever.

So, right now we’re counting down the days again. It seems like the only way to ease the pain of saying goodbye last time is to plan another trip to see each other again. Currently, its down to 52 days. I’ll be able to wrap my arms around you again on January 7th 2014 until January 18th. Three days before our two-year anniversary. Who the heck did that horrible planning? Oh, right. It was me. *sigh*

When will we never have to say goodbye again? You always tell me its in the plan, baby, don’t worry. I love this “plan” of ours, mostly because plans don’t ever go according to how we planned them. It means to me that we are still holding on to a sliver of hope somewhere, but are accepting the reality of spontaneity together. Our “plan” is just us saying that wherever life’s road goes, I want to wander it blissfully with you.

I know in my heart I will marry you. This seems like a wild idea but whenever I envision my future, its a given that you’re always the one I’m spending it with. I want you you to be the first thing I see when I wake up and I want you to be the one I reach for in the dark. You’re the one I love. It’s the only thing keeping me going sometimes. Just remember, the path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell, and we’ll be stronger as a result of this distance, even though it is hugely unwanted.

I also know that one day, we’re going to read this together and laugh over the memories, and that warms my heart. Remember the time we went to Santa Cruz and couldn’t find a place to pee anywhere? When we also saw that wedding on the beach, and we kissed when they kissed? Do you recall that time I begged you to watch P.S. I Love You with me, only to fall asleep ten minutes in, leaving you to finish it by yourself? Do you remember that we spent each trip’s eve fighting and I tearfully told you not to come every time? I’m glad you didn’t listen. Remember how every time we talk heatedly about a subject  we’re both passionate about (whether we agree or disagree, that is), we interrupt and talk over each other, making both of us frustrated? Ah the classics of a relationship fueled by the telephone.

We’re a perfect mess of imperfection, but I love you with my whole heart.

I think it was Dr. Seuss who said “We are all a little weird and life is  a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

I promise I’ll write to you soon. Until next time my dear.

Love always and all ways,

Me.